Phases of giving up and growing up...

By Lucy Harbron - 11:03

#5
Hello there,

An early memory of mine is playing cafes with my sister at my Grandma's house and typing out menus on her typewriter. I loved this typewriter and i was lucky enough to be given it earlier this year.
            If you're a regular reader, or know me personally, you will know that i want to be a writer; maybe write for a fashion magazine? But being able to sit in my own little library, in a beautiful house fully furnished with Cath Kidston items, and be able to write stories and books that will change people and make them think "wow" when they finish them, will always be my dream/goal.

            So when i got this typewriter i was determined to write a full novel and send it of to a publisher. But then at fourteen full A4 sheets jam-packed with my words, i gave up. And to make it worst, i gave up in the middle of a sentence! I didn't think to myself "right, I'm giving up.", i just never really went back. My typewriter was broken for quite a while, and in that time i came up with a new idea, so when i got my typewriter back i just didn't sit back down and continue, i moved onto something else. It's like I'm trying to write goal but keep rubbing out or giving up before the L.

         This seems to be turning into a pattern for me because that other idea i came up with, i haven't typed a single word for months now. I can sit and stare at it for hours but then get distracted by facebook. I think i need a nice little break in a log cabin in the woods, preferable with snow involved, clear my mind and write. please?

         You always here people say "oh its just a phase", with me that's true. I've been through a lot of phases, social worker (Tracy beaker phase), scientist, musicals, fashion designer, singing, you tube. But i always come bad to writing, i have so many notepads filled with stories and tales and even some extremely bad poems. it wasn't until recently when i realised just how much i love writing and reading and now blogging. My mum always says how good i am at writing and choosing the right words (in stories and essays, speaking wise I'm about as awkward as a llama at an alpaca convention..)

        I'm dreading new years because when my family sit down to write out new year resolutions and look at our old ones, i already know I've failed most of them including "do more gigs" from my brief singing stage which we do not discuss, ever.
         In an attempt to motivate me to finish things, i started a bucket list in summer and since then i have only managed to tick of 1 thing and haven't even looked at it since summer! But i don't think it's just me (i hope)! i mean all girls want to be a princess and boys want to be knights but we grow out of that phase and on to other things, I've just repeated that process a lot more than most people.

          But in all this I've come to the conclusion that maybe i don't have to do just one thing, even though being an author is my main goal. What's stopping me being an author but also illustrating books? Writing books and blogging? Keaton Henson is an illustrator but also a musician and one of my favourite singers. Nothing is stopping me doing 5 lessons a day, homework, revision and blogging, so why should i be limited to one thing in the future? But I guess that's all to come.

That's all for now!

have a top-notch week
much love
a very indecisive Lucy
xo

Outfit of the week
jumper-new look-£10
shirt- old school shirt from M&S
jeans-Primark-unknown

Song of the week
The district sleeps alone tonight-Birdy (originally by The Postal Service)

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