Friday, 8 September 2017

The Past Us ~ A Poetry Film...





The Past Us is a poem about the realisation that your love has changed. It’s a poem about looking back at a relationship and realising it’s become so misshapen over time, it hardly looks like love at all anymore, it doesn’t really even look like companionship.

This poem was written in late October and it feels just like late October, to me at least. It feels like hazey evenings when it becomes annoying how dark it gets so early. It feels like the intense bout of disassociation and confusion I felt during my first months at uni, and the questions about how my new location would alter my relationships and feelings. It’s always been a deeply personal piece to me with very specific settings and conversations in my head, but maybe that’s why it’s ended up being the piece I always go back to, and a piece that my peers regularly reference and compliment (thanks guys).

We all know the tug of a dying love hanging on like a limb that’s gone numb after you sat on it for too long. The period just before the conversation when both parties are aware of the small changes in movement; turning your back, pulling away hands, seizing at opportunities to leave their company even if just briefly to get a drink, when before you always wanted them there, holding your hand and hugging in the kitchen. This poem is a brainstorm for that conversation, a mind-map drawing lines between the people you were and are.

The ideas of making a film was brought to the table in Easter, at a time when I was having this conversation again. I’ve always wanted to make a film, I love films so so much but over time I’ve accepted that I know nothing about how the hell you make a film. So a table full of people who know exactly how to make a short film, and know fancy terms for lenses and shots, and appreciated my work enough to want to visualise it, it was dreamy.

And the end product is The Past Us, it’s exactly what the poem is and all it represents (including some very specific details from it’s context). It’s grey, it’s late October, it’s the lingering thought of a love you had to accept had left long ago, packed up and moved out of everywhere but your head. But mostly it’s just beautiful and far more eloquent that my words could ever hope to be.

I can’t say thank you enough to ever quite touch on how much of a privilege this is, and how cool it makes me feel that a group of people wanted to merge their art with mine. So thank you again to Penny Eastbury, Samara Sajid and S. J Zhu. Thank you thank you thank you.

I feel v cool to have my very own and very first poetry film, am I an artistic and edgy creative yet??? Can I be famous now???

This is The Past Us, part 1 of a Chrysalism film series. This is winter.

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