Sunday...

By Lucy Harbron - 09:19


Sunday morning;
I put my small hand into a jar and pick out a task,
my soft skin touches dark wood,
warm carpet, and everything smell of my mother
and her refusal of help in the kitchen.
We sit at the table, we all have room for pudding,
we gather again in the evening.

Sunday morning;
I make an effort, wrote a list ahead of time
so I cannot ignore the care I need.
Early dawning, no tears in the morning,
feelings cold as ice cream, but still as sweet;
walk to the gardens, eat fruit,
paint nails, face-mask, sleep.
There’s always someone around you,
pointing out soft blues that are natural and true,
everything is calmer now.

Sunday morning;
I don’t set an alarm, assured I will always wake first,
always in time to roll over,
close my eyes again so we can pretend to open them in sync.
10am, 11am, stay still, still soft,
oh to be in love on a Sunday,
oh to walk hand in hand with no deadline,
oh to feel just the same on Monday.

Sunday girl on a Sunday morning,
my mother, my lover, 
me.
Loved, cared for and comforted,
learning to feel everything like I feel on Sunday,
learning to expect no less than Sunday morning, dinner table, evening talks love.

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Sundays have always been a special day for me. I was born on a Sunday, and in my family, Sunday is a day of tidying up, reorganising and gathering yourself up to prepare for a new week. Each Sunday we would tidy the house then have a proper Sunday roast, and that's my favourite tradition. Since moving to University I've tried my hardest to keep a small part of that tradition going, I try to keep my Sundays free of work, I keep them as a day to look after myself, do small acts of self-care like paint my nails and treat my skin, it's always a day I treasure with friends and my boyfriend. And at some of the harder times, Sundays are a goal, just get through to Sunday and take the offering of the new week as a new start, fresh and free.

Sunday also reminds me of two of my favourite songs; Sunday Girl by Blondie, and Sunday Morning by The Velvet Underground. Sunday Girl is my burlesque stage name, something that makes me feel really confident and empowered,and has introduced me to an amazing group of women.

Sunday also featured heavily in my book Chrysalism. I recently talked about my relationship with some of the poems in my book, one of which being All Week Sundays, which were 'love' poems written about a relationship and a situation that in actuality was extremely toxic. I always loved the line in that poems; 'Learning to feel everything like I feel on Sunday', but I deserve to feel better than how I felt on Sundays spent within that relationship, when I felt small or not good enough. I deserve to feel how I feel on Sundays with my family, on Sundays I spend purposefully looking after myself, on Sundays I spend getting breakfast with friends, or on a walk with my boyfriend who loves and respects me and admires me like no one else ever has. 

I got this tattoo, in the font used in my book, to remind myself of all these things. Of my family, of my favourite songs, of my friends and loved ones, of myself and the self-care I practice and the kind of love I deserve, and of all the things I treasure and everything that makes me feel confident. Self-care and self-love can be as simple as having a day to remind you of the love you have in your life, and the type of love you deserve, both of which are honest and kind and make you feel like the best version of yourself. And that's how I feel on a Sunday, and how I deserve to feel all the time.

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